Five Ingredients

To outright bald-face steal a square dance club, you need five key ingredients:

1. A club worth stealing. Most clubs nowadays are so small and piddly that it's not worth the bother to steal them. So ... find yourself a strong club into which someone invested thousands of dollars. Wait until it grows into the biggest club in town, then steal it. Go big or go home. Since you're gonna rob someone anyway, make it worth your while.


2. A club owner who goes out of town. Learn how it's done, from the experienced swindlers at FunDancers. It's much easier to rob someone while they're away.


3. Callers willing to accept robbery loot to call for cheating lying swindling deadbeats who robbed one of their so-called "colleagues". Square dancing is "friendship set to music" ... as long as the definition of "friendship" is "I'm your friend, I'm always there, and whenever someone robs you, I'll be there to grab as much loot as I can".


4. Dancers willing to endorse and participate in your criminal illusion that you "improved square dancing" by cheating a hardworking innocent couple out of their life's work. Here's a helpful hint, if you really want to improve square dancing: next time, target a victim who will take a robbin' silently. It's much easier to get away with robbery when your crime victim is silent. Too bad you didn't know that in advance.


5. Gossips and name-smearers who love to start and spread rumors. Just be careful. If you enjoy the company of gossips and rumor-mongers, chances are good that you might become the target of their next smear campaign. Not "if ... " but "when ... " it happens, look on the bright side: you probably deserve it.

So there you have it: the five key ingredients for any square dance robbery. Luckily for you, all five key ingredients are in abundance at FunDancers in Schertz. If you enjoy participating in robbery, swindling, cheating and total sheer utter wrongness, look no further. You found all those rotten things, and more, at FunDancers in Schertz.